we're too lost to lose hope

[Jan. 28th, 2008|01:06 am]

[	jud jud	\|	aggravated	]
[	neer	\|	Neil Young	]

i cut the shit out of my balls today. it really hurt!

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(no subject)	[Jan. 26th, 2008\|11:16 pm]
i finally got my phone back. soooo i need your numbers! give em up!
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[Jan. 24th, 2008|08:39 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	cheerful	]
[	neer	\|	soak 'n' wet	]

today was amazing. got my first paper back and got an a. have an awesome weekend in store, hanging out with some new people and hanging out with the boys on saturday, even though im missing out on wrestling (no money). just in an awesome mood. i feel accomplished. i dont feel like doing anything.

get with it and listen to some amazing music
www.myspace.com/soaknwetmusic
rob and i have made a brand new band. best music ever.

[Jan. 23rd, 2008|05:16 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	anxious	]
[	neer	\|	the morning light	]

its weird there have been 3 seperate occasions that i really wanted to write about but have totally just spaced on because ive been quite busy.

phones been broken...should be here soon so i will be needing numbers.

been meeting a lot of new people, which is always nice. lots of new opportunities...we will see.

i am COMPLETELY obsessed with the band the morning light. idk what it is but they just do it for me. i really hope their full length delivers...it also makes me feel pretty old and want to be in a band again. atleast its motivating me to write music.

im 98 percent sure i got a job at starbucks off of the montrose brown line stop. had my interview it went well. talked to him today and he said he will probably be puting me on next weeks schedule. its right where that giant water pipe burst so he has other crap on his hands right now which is understandable. im just glad to have gotten that out of the way.

suns game last night was awesome. they scared me, as usual, only securing a win within the last 4 minutes of the game. being with sam and my dad was really nice though. it made me really appreciate the time i get to spend with that end of my family...my dad busts his ass. im sure hes proud of us. i just hate how sad he 90 percent of the time. its hard to handle.

[Jan. 16th, 2008|01:06 am]

[	jud jud	\|	exhausted	]
[	neer	\|	death cab for cutie	]

ive been so swept up in school work its been hard to step back and realize everything that happend with fab. everything started fast and everything ended fast. it doesnt nessicarily hurt me in the pit of my stomach...probably because it was ultimately my decision. but there is this nagging what if. a lot of me felt like i didnt know her and a lot of me told me that we were quite different...

but theres no denying how i felt when i was with her. and there is no describing the feeling that just maybe the girl you are supposed to be with is 4000 miles away...

when you know youll never truly be together.

[Jan. 14th, 2008|04:33 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	creative	]
[	neer	\|	lupe fiasco	]

thank you rob.

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[Jan. 12th, 2008|02:07 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	numb	]
[	neer	\|	most serene republic	]

and im single again... im upset but it needed to be done.

[Jan. 12th, 2008|12:19 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	blah	]
[	neer	\|	acceptance	]

so despite the bull shit fight with fab, last night was awesome. tim just left and it was really nice to see him. i love that dude. im really glad we have stayed close through all of the changes and moves. im going to try and get him into austin's hxc band with me. well see. it should be fun

today brian is coming which im excited about. im sure lots of fun will be had and drinks will be consumed.

i have a feeling things with fab will come to a head today. we will see.

[Jan. 10th, 2008|03:56 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	thoughtful	]
[	neer	\|	the most serene republic	]

im extremely happy in chicago, living with rob, being in school, being on my own again...and pretty much with everything going on right now...except one thing. that i need to fix. immediatly.

did i fall in love with the possibilites? the new experiences...who knows. but i have to make a decision now.

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[Jan. 8th, 2008|11:54 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	productive	]
[	neer	\|	sigur ros	]

so ive made this commitment to myself to read absolutly every assingment i am given this semester. soooo much god damn reading. like hours and hours a day. its just really important i have an amazing quarter grade wise so its easy for them to place me in student teaching. i guess we will see how i fair.

i miss my fucking girlfriend.

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[Jan. 6th, 2008|10:00 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	tired	]
[	neer	\|	owen - i do perceive	]

listening to the rebroadcasting of the new hampshire democratic debate on npr and watching a few obama speeches online just made me get my illinois voter registration squared away...as should you if you havent!

[Jan. 6th, 2008|11:51 am]

[	jud jud	\|	tired	]
[	neer	\|	the beatles - let it be...naked	]

so im sick as balls. i think i got whatver rob was killing rob before i moved in...who knows coughing a lot though so maybe it wont be that bad. i hope not...because he was out for a while.

today i will do nothing. i will use my sickness as an excuse to do nothing at all....except do some homework.

the game last night was actually quite awesome. it was real close and it was nice to be back at notre dame since i hadnt been there in so long. god i love watching basketball live but it makes me do the what if thing with my knee every single time. i could be dunking on fools.

alright breakfast time.

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[Jan. 5th, 2008|02:54 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	tired	]
[	neer	\|	set your goals	]

yesterday was a hard day. school was bullshit but whatever. just one class. there were a couple people from my orrientation in it so it made it a little easier

i met with lauren and it was sufficiently akward. i was happy to se her though. she looks good and im very glad that she is happy in her life. i also found out that she has started dating someone...i really took it a lot better then i thought i would. the only hard part for me was that its a guy that was always there trying to pick her up everytime her and i would go through problems. so whatever...shes all yours now. im happy with who i have...

which leads to part two of my day. a big fight with fab. it wasnt a stupid pointless fight. it was more about her coming here and, with the acceptance of recent job, how things might not work out as cleanly as we thought it might. its hard to balance feelings and practicality. after a long fight and a night to think about everything that went down we talked for an hour this morning. we decided we want to stay together and that we wouldnt have went through all of this in the first place for nothing. but she knows how i feel...that i cant wait forever. so...for now we are fine. i really do love her...hopefully things will work out.

im off to take a shower and then to notre dame with dad, sam, and maria for a bball game. should be fun. i miss them a lot already.

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[Jan. 3rd, 2008|10:14 pm]

[	jud jud	\|	awake	]
[	neer	\|	stars	]

so i would like to start writing in here again. most of my old friends dont really use it anymore but idk...i dont really care if anyone reads it. its more to just get back in to the habit of writing regularly.

stars...an amazing band. "in our bedroom after the war" is one of my favorite records of 07... too bad i didnt discover it until 08.

obama won iowa. good. thank god. i was pretty dissapointed that i moved out of iowa before i was able to be a part of the whole causus experience in iowa city. it would have been nice to have been involved, espescially when there is a candidate that i fully support

school started today. it went like this: first class, 1800-1900 US history was cancelled for no particular reason. proceeded to waste time in the student center. went and tried to get a job at the bookstore. went to my second class, social issues in education and LOVED my teacher. went to my last class of the day, catholic social issues, and hated every minute of it.
overall im very excited to be back in school. just makes me feel...smart again. i was feeling like quite the waste in racine

need to start a band now. i plan on recording all the shit i have been writing in the next couple weeks.

alright enough for today.